Sunday, March 25, 2007

Dad's tie

One year ago today my Dad died. This is a picture of the tie he wore to our wedding. I asked Linda if I could have it before she gave away all of his clothes. I wanted to remember how happy he was that day. He smiled all day long and was so wonderful. He loved Steph so much. She called him "Dad" and when he had to go to Hopkins to get scans, he would always see if she was available to have lunch with him. Before he died, he said he knew I would be OK because he knew that Steph would look after me. He also said that I would make a great mother. I think those are the two things he told me while he was in hospice that meant the most to me.

The dogwood trees are blooming in Nashville. It reminds me of the dogwood tree by his grave. It is probably still too early for that tree to bloom in Baltimore.

I don't know how I feel today. I feel the way I do every day when I think of my Dad...a sort of emptiness. I don't let myself think about those few weeks when he was in hospice; it's too painful. I remember how I felt though at this time last year. I felt as though life could not possibly go on. You get so wrapped up in your grief that you think the world is going to stop, but it doesn't. It keeps on going and sooner or later you hop back in because you have to.

So...a serious post for today.

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